"Now, isn't this better than sitting at a table? A girl hasn't got but two sides to her at the table."
Things that are likely to happen to you if you get your hair semi-drastically cut:
1. You will be able to run faster. Seriously, I was running 5.4 mph at the gym, and now I'm running 5.7. Not quite fast...but fastER!
2. Hot guitar players from the band you saw out at the bar will fall instantly in love with you.
3. Your creative brain cells will be inspired and electrified. Essay and manuscript ideas will start to throw a dance party in your head.
4. Approximately 7 people will crawl out of absolutely nowhere and ask you out. You should be prepared for this, lest it becomes overwhelming and weird.
5. You will have more energy. Perhaps my lethargy was secretly hidden in the ends of my hair, and now that they're gone, I can stay up later and be way more fun!
6. You may feel inspired to take on other new initiatives, such as hiking or boating. You will also be compelled to travel more.
So, in short, if you are thinking of cutting your hair, I would be an advocate for that. I've been scared to cut mine for a long time, because I'm a pussy when it comes to my hair, but I kind of love it.
(If you missed the secret message encoded in this blog, I'm going to spell it out for you. Don't be afraid of change. Live your life. And then love the life you live. If nothing ever changed, there wouldn't be any butterflies. Also, the world would be a boring f-ing place to live.)