Thursday, January 31, 2008


"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow worm." Winston Churchill

I don't hate my job. In fact, I rather enjoy it on most days. I get to hang out with college students all day, I travel a lot, and I am almost never terribly overcome with job-related stress. I love my students, and the fact that on any given day about a dozen of them will sporatically stop in my office for any variety of reasons: relationship advice, academic counseling, non-academic counseling, or just a hug. I'm a great hugger.

That said, I really really wish I didn't have to work. Because I wouldn't. I wouldn't abstain from work in a Paris Hilton-esque kind of way. I just feel that if my time wasn't spent sitting in an office all day, I could really do many more valuable things. I'm becoming more and more sure in life that what I'm supposed to be doing is helping other people with things...probably because somewhere along the way, someone was able to help me in a way that absolutely saved my life. Also, I honestly understand people pretty well. I'm a smart girl, but I'm not a genius. I hate doing math. But I understand things, and I'm able to make sense of things in a way that I don't think everyone can.

So, here is my list of things I'd like to do when/if the time ever comes that I don't have to work. A side note is that should I ever end up having children, that time will come. I'd want myself or my husband staying home with them at least until they went to school. Call me antiquated, but children are impressionable, and I want to be the one responsible for those impressions!

Anyway, the list:
1. Volunteer at an inpatient psych unit, probably with adolescents, as a counselor.
2. Volunteer at the Women's Shelter, again...probably as a counselor.
3. Go to grad school full time.
4. Learn how to surf. This would involve many trips to places like Waikiki or Fiji.
5. Travel...probably to Greece, England, Japan, and Australia to start.
6. Become a licensed pilot. I'm sure people would trust me to fly them places.
7. Teach swimming lessons more than once a week.
8. Try to break a world record, like for the longest game of Uno ever played or something.
9. Actually focus on auditioning for shows that I want to do...and then actually DOING them.
10. Learn how to speak French.
11. Finally finish the next great American novel. Prior to that, I should start writing the next great American novel.
12. Go skydiving. This is probably is going to happen soon whether or not I'm working.
13. Spend more time with people I should see more and don' my grandmother.
14. Volunteer with the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty.
15. Learn how to sail, and sail around the Virgin Islands for a bit. Not alone! That's a scary idea.

That's really all for now. I'm sure there are more, but that's a good start.

I love glow worms, by the way. Remember those? They were great!

Monday, January 28, 2008


How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
Each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.
~Alexander Pope

Backstory: yesterday I had a minor nervous breakdown. Nothing horrible, just one of those moments where I absolutely start to panic and freak out that I'm not doing anything good or important with my life, that I'm never going to figure out what it is that I'm supposed to be doing, and that I'll ultimately end up alone, poor, and living in a duplex with a subscription to Reader's Digest and stray cats. I don't want to be someone who freezes out of fear that they'll fail. Or someone who just settles. I'm fine now. I was talked down by a very smart person, and spent the rest of the evening snuggled in bed reading The Kite Runner. Good book.

Anyway, that, as I mentioned, is the backstory for what I want to say. The actual story, is it would happen, is much more related to the idea of being someone who is so ultraconscious of everything versus being someone who is blithely unaware of anything. I do consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person, and because of that I sometimes wonder if I just think harder or think more than people who perhaps have gifts that lie elsewhere. On one hand, I do really tend to worry about things a lot, I spend a lot of time going over and over things in my head...and I might find myself less stressed out and more content if I didn't think so much about things. But honestly, I think the people who don't think are in fact the ones that tend to settle. The ones who accept life as it's handed to them instead of working to learn new things, try new opportunities, meet new people, etc.

So I think that, above anything else, makes me feel ok about having semi nervous breakdowns now and then. They really aren't fun, they make me all sorts of upset...but at the same time, they remind me that I'm still thinking, still looking to see what all I can get out of life, and not someone who will ever accept a life that's anything less than blissful.

Friday, January 25, 2008


I'm sure everyone has a strong desire to read about the daily happenings of my life. Honestly. I have a lot of interesting things to say, thoughts to think, and generally amusing observations to make. Well, I amuse myself at least, and really...that's pretty much the most important thing. The person you will spend the majority of your life with is yourself, so you owe it to yourself to become as interesting as possible, that's what I always say. Or at least, someone important said that at one time.

Anyway, I don't have anything terribly important to say...I just wanted to mention that the purpose of this blog is to sort of untangle the haphazard little thoughts that get caught up in my head...and also to help me remember things. I am great at remembering things like lines in a show, or converstations I have with people. However, I am highly scatterbrained here and there, and writing things down tends to help with that. It also helps me to stay more focused, and not get lost in my little net of daydreams!

Also, I like quotes. And I want a better place to keep track of things that people say or things that I read. This should work, right? What I do NOT intend to do is keep a lovely little diary in which I use many emoticons and abbreviations, gush about my hopes and dreams, and/or gossip about people in my life by giving them clever nicknames. If you're interested in that, please help yourself to the abundance of literature out there aimed for such purposes...I'm thinking the whole "Shopaholic" series I keep hearing about!


Oh! A quote. I am so done being sick by the way. SO. DONE.
"At times the world may seem a sinister and unfriendly place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps in a journey."