Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Names


I'm getting married! Fairly soon, actually...in about three and a half months. My fiance wrote a fun blog post about getting engaged, which you can read if you click HERE. I'm excited about a whole lot of things, including the actual wedding in Mexico, the honeymoon in Greece, getting to wear a giant diamond wedding band on a regular basis, saying things like, "Oh, let me talk to my husband about that," when people ask me questions that I could easily answer on my own, and reaping all of these great tax benefits that I hear married people gloat about. I don't know much about taxes, but I do like to gloat.

One thing that I still think is just plain weird though, is the fact that after 30 years of having my own name, it's just going to change to a new name. I mean, that's WEIRD, right? It would be like waking up tomorrow with a new face. It's a giant change, and I feel like people kind of ignore it. Now, I'm not complaining, and I know that I don't HAVE to change my name. But I want to...I think it's one of those things that will make us closer, and more like a family. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that it's just freaking bizarre.

Luckily, I like Andy's last name. It's going to make me Sara Shaw, which I think sounds a lot like a lead character in a crime novel, or a plucky investigative journalist at a flailing newspaper who always drives the editor crazy but manages to get the scoop...and the man.

There ARE some last names, though, that might make me reconsider changing mine:

Anything that starts with the letter Z: In elementary school, as I recall, they almost always had you line up alphabetically by last name. I remember shaking my head with pity for those poor souls at the end of the line. I might have also been shaking my head in disbelief that my mother gave me that ridiculous bowl cut and perm. Seriously.

Gross: I'm sorry, truly sorry, if this offends anyone who has the last name Gross. But I just couldn't do it. "Hi, Mrs. Gross here, just calling about the brownie sale." Who would trust Mrs. Gross with baked goods??

Popp: I got an e-mail at work from someone with this last name, and no matter how many times I read it, it still looks like Poop to me.

There are also some last names that kind of make me want to talk Andy into having us both change our names and start from scratch:

Danger: Obviously. "Help, get me off of these train tracks! Oh, Sara Danger has arrived, thank goodness!" Or, "Excuse me, Mrs. Danger, but would you please pass those explosives?"

Darling: Even though Wendy from Peter Pan was a serious bitch, I was always jealous of her last name. Also her perfect curls. But mostly her last name. I just think it would be adorable to say things like, "Oh, Sara Darling calling, darling." I would also want to hang lots of signs in the house that said things like "A Darling Family Lives Here" or send out baby announcements that said, "Welcoming a new little Darling!"

Anything that starts with the letter O followed by an apostrophe: You know, O'Brien, O'Henry, O'Donnell. My name has never had extra punctuation, and I would like that.

xoxo

P.S. One of my students brought me that ornament for Christmas. How sweet is that?

4 comments:

AndyShawComedy said...

What about Claus? Then you could be Mrs. Claus.

Anonymous said...

I like how you pretend you were never getting married before. Enjoy, Andy!

Cadence said...

Oh, thanks! We like it too. And thank you, also, for your remarks. It takes a lot of courage to leave an anonymous comment on someone's blog.

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