Wednesday, March 4, 2009
This just in: suddenly (or not really suddenly at all, actually) I am about six months shy of my 29th birthday. That birthday marks my last year as a twenty-something! I'm not going to panic about this, (although I did find a wrinkle about a year ago, which I convinced myself was an optical illusion but is somehow STILL THERE) because I've heard from numerous reliable sources that it's way more fun to be in your thirties than it is to be in your twenties. Also, all empirical evidence that I have gathered supports this. Life IS getting better the older I get. I have more money, I can do more things and go more places, I have the most awesome boyfriend (AB) ever, I have a stable job, I'm in graduate school...things are good.
A little while ago, I stumbled across a journal I used to keep in college. This journal was less of a "Dear Diary" secret keeper and more of a place for me to write down random thoughts I had, interesting things people said, and to make lists because list-making ranks pretty high in the "I'm a Closet Geek for Loving This" Olympics. It's right up there with Star Wars, crossword puzzles, Harry Potter, and cleaning my house. For instance, in college when I was in a completely lovesick state over a boy (who had beautiful brown eyes but was otherwise utter rubbish) I decided to write a list of 100 things that I loved about life that did NOT involve him. It reminded me that as much as my heart (and other, more inappropriate areas) fluttered when I saw him, the sun did not actually rise and fall based on his whereabouts.
So in said journal, I also stumbled across a list of things that I wanted to accomplish before I turned 30. At the time, apparently 30 seemed like it was REALLY far away, and I also apparently thought I'd have limitless resources and time in which to accomplish these things. I would now like to update you all (because you clearly are intensely interested) on the status of these goals.
Live in London
I think I'm going to need to accept that this just isn't going to happen, nor do I really think it's a good idea. London is far away. And I don't know for sure that they show Lost there.
Be in a movie
Unless home videos count, I'm no closer to this one either. As of now, I decree that home videos DO count, unless anyone reading this wants to toss me in a movie.
If I am to believe AB, we are totally doing this, even though he has a huge fear of the skydiving instructor getting a boner while catapulting through the air, thus rendering his skydiving experience tainted and horrifying. I, on the other hand, would be endlessly amused if his skydiving instructor got a boner.
Write the next great American novel
Hm. I'm midway through two of them. Really, all I need to do is slap "The End" on one of them. I'll call it a mysterious, artistic choice.
Go on a shopping spree in NYC
If I want to do this in style, I'm going to need my own fun and flirty soundtrack. So until I find a small symphony to go to the city, I'm out of luck. However, I guess the word "spree" is up for interpretation. I've definitely gone to NYC and spent way more money than I was supposed to.
Live in NYC
Clearly as a college student I thought I was going to be much more metropolitan and nomadic than I actually am. I was offered a job in NYC last year and turned it down. I'm totally counting that.
Go on a cruise
I was SO close! I think this is still within reach. AB knows many things about cruises. I'm either relying on him or getting a job as a call girl who specializes in cruise captains.
Go to grad school
Take a cooking class
I have no idea why I thought this was a good idea.
Buy something from Tiffany's
Done. I rule.
Go to Greece
Greece seemed very chic at the time. I do however, have plans to go to Ireland with AB for our 30th birthdays.
Learn another language
Thanks to two boys I've met in the past few years, I've learned how to speak Asshole pretty well. Otherwise, I should probably get to work on this little project.
Learn how to crochet/knit
Alright, I have tried this. My hands just will not cooperate. Too many loops and there's yarn, which is just complicated.
Learn a martial art
Oh, I had forgotten about this. It goes along with my desire to be even more of a badass than I already am. This is so possible.
Perform on Broadway
Be on The Price is Right
I consider this goal null and void now that Bob Barker is no longer hosting this show. I mean honestly, Drew Carey? What fun is Plinko with that man? I bet he doesn't even care if you get your pets spayed or neutered.
Ride in a hot air balloon
Franny and I had tickets to do this last year. I believe the weather got in the way. We should probably try that again.
Learn how to drive stick shift
Still a good idea. I don't know for sure why I was so determined to do this, but I do think it's wise. Again, I think driving stick would really increase my badass quotient.
Kiss a stranger
Um...it would appear that in my despair over not being able to accomplish all of my goals, I decided to accomplish this one hundreds and hundreds of time to make up for it.
Soooo, it looks like I have a really busy year and a half ahead of me. And that's not even counting all the new stuff I've thought of that I want to accomplish in the next few years! I wonder why I had to go and be all lofty and ambitious, and couldn't have listed anything practical (like buying a fun new car.) Although "practical" isn't usually in the grab bag of adjectives that describes me, now is it?