Unicorns

Before reading the rest of this blog, please take the next two minutes and fifty-four seconds to view the following extremely relevant and important video.



Ok seriously, who doesn't want to go to Planet Unicorn? I mean HONESTLY! My favorite unicorn is Cadillac. He has a bouffant, but his little unicorn horn pokes out just enough to be stylish yet subtle.

I would like to teach a college course entitled The Existential and Spiritual Dilemma of Planet Unicorn: A Colloquium. There are six installments of this series, and there are fifteen weeks in a semester. My only fear would be that there is just too much material to really do it justice. But I would try. To give you a sampling of what my course might look like, I've created a mock syllabus for the first few weeks. Naturally, since you haven't seen the other five episodes, (which I really encourage you to watch as soon as you possibly can) this mockabus (mock syllabus, duh) only covers the portion of the class that would be devoted to episode one.

I'm going to assume that my class meets thrice per week.

Assignment One: Relate Shannon, the eight year old gay boy, to the Classic Hero Structure that can be applied to all literature. Why did he wish for a fur jacket? What does that represent? What struggles inherently lie within Shannon that are evidenced by his desire for a flying car? Spiritually, where will this car take him?

Assignment Two: Ambrosia. Feathers, Cadillac, and Tom Cruise are intially seen eating ambrosia salad. Ambrosia (as you obviously know) is classically the food/drink of the gods. Is this foreshadowing? Describe the ethnocentricity revealed by the lack of cherries in Feathers' salad compared to the abundance of cherries in Cadillac's salad.

Assignment Three:
The unicorns have a strong desire to nap and cuddle. However, once napping they dream the same dream of Shannon, the gay boy who wished them into existence. Find two partners, and nap and cuddle for the rest of this class period. Try to dream the same dream.

Assignment Four:
Using paper mache, pipe cleaners, glitter glue, and plastic fruit to construct a model representing Unicorn Falls and what you learned about pouring brown paint into pink waterfalls.

I need to take this to my Director of Academic Affairs.

xoxo