Grownup

Well, I'm afraid I might have grown up. Or just got boring, but since I find myself to be the most interesting person I know, and I know this must be accurate since I also find myself to be an excellent judge of character, I doubt that's the case. I imagine it's much more likely that the years have caught up with me. Damn you, Time! Peter Pan would NOT find this acceptable, and he would probably mock me and send his shadow after me. I, however, am smarter than Peter Pan, and would just turn out the lights and tell him I killed his shadow. I might have grown up, but I can still be a bitch.

The Evidence:
1. I just don't feel like going out anymore. I mean, sometimes, like if I'm in Vegas or somewhere else that's actually conducive to my very high going-out standards, I'll do it. However, it should be noted that I was recently in Las Vegas for three nights...one of those nights was spent partying the sh*t out of Blush and drinking $600 champagne until 3am. The other two nights, I was happily tucked into my Bellagio bed before eleven. I digress...but I really don't feel as though getting trashed on the weekends is a productive expenditure of my time. My tummy hates it the next morning, and let's face it--it's just empty calories. Also, my decision-making skills are not awesome while intoxicated. But if I had the choice between going out to a bar with a group of friends and sitting on my couch, cuddling with Hamlet and AB and watching Full House--you guessed it. The Tanner family's shenanigans would be getting my attention. Turns out I actually don't need to be drunk to be entertaining. Who knew.

2. When people text me past 10:00 at night, I am (a) usually in bed, and (b) wonder what on earth these people are thinking with their middle of the night crises.

3. My tax return is going for two things: saving for grad school loans, and taking a fantabulous vacation with AB to a tropical location this summer. Anything left over will be spent on a Bissel SpotBot. I'm really excited about it. It's like the Michael Phelps of carpet cleaners!! Minus the giant ears and the pot.

4. Things that frequently excite me: making lists, going to the gym, planning vacations, going to bed early, cleaning, and drinking organic skim milk out of a martini glass.

5. Purchasing a house seems like a reasonable thing to do in the next year or two. Um, really? I always swore I would rent forever because I didn't like the idea of having to fix my own appliances or take care of my own lawn. I still don't like those things. However, this just in: boyfriends are good at that.

I feel like the mounting evidence speaks for itself. But the most compelling argument that I am probably an official grown up...

6. I actually don't mind it. It's nice having money to do stuff. It's kind of fun to not deal with hangovers, and to plan exotic vacations, to get enough sleep, to fall asleep and wake up to the same fantastical person every morning, to have positive and healthy friends, and to feel secure in myself. One of my students called me her Carrie Bradshaw for life. As long as she means that I am awesome, and not that I have a horse-face, that's kind of ok.

So, I expect that I will soon be receiving my "Grown-Up" card in the mail, along with a detailed instruction manual. My parents, by the way, used to insist that their reasoning behind many of their parenting decisions simply came from the "Parenting Instruction Manual." I can not WAIT to get a copy of that, because I can't even keep plants alive, so I'm hoping there are some good ideas on how to maintain a child.