Monday, January 26, 2009


So...I heart NY as much as the next girl. I've made lots of bold proclamations about how much I want to live there, and how I feel like I'd thrive culturally and creatively in such a diverse and wonderful place. I got to spend the weekend there for school this weekend, and got to spend my days in a corner conference room of the Flatiron Building (so cool,) and also got to learn some rough lessons at New York's School of Hard Knocks...for Sara.

How NYC Schooled Me Like a 3rd Grade Bitch
1. NY is expensive. Everyone knows's like the most expensive place in the country. However, I've learned over the past few years that I kind of LIKE the financial stability and comfort I've been able to create for myself. I spent the weekend worrying about money, and I hate worrying about money. I hate worrying about anything. Worry is lame. But I blew approximately $120 in transportation, food, tolls, etc. and have NOTHING to show for it. Do you know how many Dior Diorshow Blackout mascaras I could have gotten for that? You probably don't. It's 4.
2. Walking 20 blocks in 10 degree weather might be common practice for New Yorkers, but I don't like it. My face froze. When I finally got to where my friends were, I was NOT a happy camper. See attached picture. Before my fingertips and vocal chords froze to the point of nonuse, I called my mother, screeching "I hate New York!" I don't. But still.
3. Tara Herweg is a master of cartography the likes of which this world has never seen. She's a genius. However, even with her amazing directions (that I clutched in my hand like Lindsay Lohan clutches at her career) I discovered that I hate the subway. I hate the bus. There are many letters (R Train, L Train...) and many numbers (and we all know that I disagree with numbers on principle) and it smells bad, and people stare at you, I have to stand up a lot, I have to pay attention to things (I'm terrible at paying attention) and it still takes you like an hour to get from Queens to Manhattan. I've obviously used the subway before, but not as much as this weekend.
4. So I go to NY a lot. I would guesstimate that I've been there upwards of 100 times...because in college I thought that a credit card meant that I could afford anything, so I went like once or twice a month. But I go to MANHATTAN a lot. The borough is sort of frightening.
5. I actually did learn a lot at school. They were long days, but we made good use of our time. Just wanted to throw that in. I also learned, having nothing to do with NY, that I am going to have figure out a better system of time management than the one I used last semester. I have 50 pages of original work to write toward my thesis, a 20 page craft paper to research and write, 6 critical essays to do, and approximately 12 books to read this semester. Waiting until the night before they're due and then giving myself a near stroke trying to finish them just won't do!

In short, I obviously still think NYC is amazing. There is no place on earth that can feed your artistic hunger like New York. However...the New York I love is the one where I get to be the Princess of Manhattan, can afford to take a cab everywhere, live in a posh Upper East Side apartment with a doorman, go see Broadway shows every weekend, shop at Neiman Marcus in order to acquire the cutest outfit in which to prace about the newest club openings, and actually get to experience the city. In short, I learned that I'm a spoiled brat and that I'm kind of ok with that.

Oh. And I love Dave, even if he can't take a self portrait picture to save his life. And Tara, who is just awesome.

p.s. Go see Slumdog Millionaire. Immediately. I'm so serious, it's an astonishing film. And I don't astonish easily.

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